Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Best of Eddi Haskell's Second Life -- Ask Eddi: I Made a Hot Date With The Wrong Guy!

Eddi in January 2010
Note:  This is an Ask Eddi column from January 2010. To see more of Eddi's advice through the years link here:  http://eddihaskell.blogspot.com/search/label/Ask%20Eddi

Dear Eddi:

I have a real problem. I was at club and it was crowded.   My friend showed up with this incredibly hot friend of his. We started IMing, and I thought that made a very hot and explicit sex date with his hot friend. However, it turns out that it was not him that that I made the date - it was someone else. I had too many IMs open. Someone else with a similar name was IMing me, who has been after me for a while. The thing is that I am not really interested the guy who I am said I would do all these naughty things with.  How do I get out of this mess without hurting the other guys feeling?

Apprehensive in Atlanta

Dear Concerned and Trashy Reader:

Eddi applauds your sincerity and your consideration of the other persons feelings.

It is unfortunate, but it sounds like you have to go through with this date if you are going to not harm the other person's feelings. Telling him "Guess what, I had the wrong window open and really do not want to have sex with you" will damage his avatar self image beyond repair.

You also will have to be respectable in the process.  If you invite him over, and put on a glowing green willy, or a female member, and tell him that you have Clowes disease in real life (Eddi does not know what Clowes disease is or it it exists at all but it sounds nasty), or really are a lesbian,  he will most likely tell everyone and damage your reputation.

I would have sex with the gentleman if I were you and  ask him to reenact your deepest and darkest fantasies along with you.  Do not stop talking. .Do things with him that you would naturally be afraid to do. Have sex in public to explore the exhibitionist side of yourself. Buy one of these kinky bondage collars and ask him to dominate you, or dominate him, at the Redgrave Men's Store. Get a VKC kennel dog (German Shepherds are good for this) and have the dog watch the proceedings and say things like "I am so excited!  The next generation of dogs will be even more entertaining!  I can't wait to get one so he can join us!?"  You get the idea!

Woof!  I can't wait for the third generation me!

The important thing is not to stop talking. And really get into it.  Come up with more and more fun ideas.

Odds are you will meet a new lover, or the person will never again come near you for sex.  Either way you will come out ahead!

And that is Eddi's advice for today!

1 comment:

  1. Haha THAT, my dear Eddi, was the worst advice I have seen in years! The guy will be stalking the slut forever...


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