Thursday, September 23, 2010

Eddi Gets Tricked On Yahoo Answers

I thought I was doing this young man a favor. He asked it in the Religion and Spirituality Section.

Question From Agent Beaver (note:  the name should have made me suspect):

How can I stop masturbating? with Tobasco sauce ?

My answer:

If you wished to endure non-masturbation, and are willing to expose yourself to the health risks associated with it such as prostate cancer (assuming that you have enough sexual activity available to you to negate the need for it), you should realize the following:

1. Unless you want to have an operation which removes much of your "masculinity" you will always feel sexual desires. You may subvert them, but they will be there.

2. Some people (few, because the vast majority of men do masturbate) are able to "hold out" until marriage, despite societal pressure.

3. I imagine that some  people who wish not to masturbate for whatever  reason do so,  despite damage to their psyche and health. However, this self control is bound to require some sort of outlet somewhere.

4. You can try taking medication and herbs designed to cut the male libido, but assuming you wish a more natural approach there is little that you can do. I do not feel hypnosis, meditation, or "natural remedies" will help. You are just going to have to apply classic willpower, and avoid looking at images of whatever you are attracted to.

Agent Beaver's Reply  (he gave me five stars for the win):

Eddi, thanks for a clinically informed response but I was actually just trying to be funny. I have no intention of stopping my special alone time and I have no intention of ever using Tobasco sauce. I love my little willy too much to even consider it.

The good thing is that I got my 10 points for the win! The bad thing is that I feel like a Jackass- this answer is now in the permanent section. 

By the way -- I WENT to the University of Michigan!  My opinion of the place has just gone down.

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