Sunday, December 13, 2009
Ask Eddi - Do we need to repeat our wedding ceremony?
My partner and I were married in early November with a big, elaborate and expensive wedding. But two weeks later, I decided to end our partnership one evening. I decided that I could not control myself and be loyal and faithful to him - and had sex with another guy. I left my partner a long note telling him why I had to do this-- but he said that he did not care, since his love for me had less to do with sex, and everything to do with spending quality time caring for and loving each other. Well, to make a long story short, we repartnered the next day through Second Life, and realize we love each other very deeply. I also now realize that his needs always come first, and cybersex is not that important in the long term, but the question to you is this: do we need to repeat our wedding ceremony?
Dear Morally Astute Reader:
The answer to your question is simple- no you do not.
I perform many weddings in Second Life as Reverend Eddi, and I take my task very seriously. I do not consider a couple married until they make vows and exchange rings that are consecrated as tokens of their love and commitment. Sending a "partner" request should accompany every Second Life wedding, but it is not one and the same. And the fact that this Second Life partnership has been dissolved, for whatever reason, does not automatically mean the marriage is off.
In almost all cultures in real life, a divorce does not happen that quickly. One party does not send an email to another in a pique of anger, or through an accident, and is granted instantaneous divorce. In fact, in real life, the concept of "decree nisi", a cooling off period before a divorce is granted in a "decree absolute" is common law in most places.
I am now giving the couples I marry a statement saying the following signed by me, and urge them to sign it and return it to each other. I urge everyone to do the same and have your wedding celebrant sign it too on the day of your wedding.
"In the event that your Second Life partnership is terminated for any reason, and you repartner within six full days of the termination, your marriage will remain in effect".
And this, enlightened reader, is my advice for today.
I welcome you to send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will maintain confidentiality. Lets see if we can put you on the right direction!